Man vs. Wild

What's the greatest thing to come out of England besides America? No, not DPhils as some of my Oxford subscribers will say. The greatest human being to ever walk this Earth, Bear Grylls. He's come under a lot of criticism in the past few months, even a lawsuit from Discovery for saying he claimed he did everything on his show by himself. Well, guess what, he did according to the lovely legal world. So now he's back, and watching his show is an unemployed man's dream.

Let me describe my world to you. The majority of my day is spent right here, on the far right side of the couch (I prefer the right side to the left, if my arm gets tired using them mouse on the cushion part, viola! I have an arm rest to quell my mouse using pains). The majority of my day is spent here, perusing various job websites, checking my email, and pretending to respond to the many interview offers that I receive. So when a show like Man vs. Wild comes on, seemingly once every other hour, that will take me away to a exotic places in the world and show me how to eat bugs and find water in them so I won't die, it is a dream come true.

I think survival skills are the manliest, most unique skills in the world to know. And Bear Grylls knows more than most people could ever hope to know. Just seeing that someone still knows and can use these skills makes me want to be him. Yes he pees on his underwear and wears it as a hat to prevent over heating, but in some sick sadistic way, I want to do that. I want to eat the grub, make the bow out of a tree and shoot piranhas, and escape from quicksand. And I want to know how to do it in every environment that this plant has to offer.

But alas, the most I will ever know is how to survive the day in my apartment. Which is pretty easy when the hardest thing in the day is either writing a cover letter, or unclogging the bathroom sink.